Moving in with Your Boyfriend: Financial Considerations

Hello Kristin, I crossed paths with my partner at the onset of the pandemic. Our relationship has been smooth sailing, and I feel like if we could thrive while dating amidst a pandemic, our bond can withstand any challenge. Although we have discussed marriage, he has yet to pop the question. With my lease coming to an end, and him being a homeowner, we have decided that moving in together to his place would be more convenient and cost-effective.

After discussing the financial aspects of this move, we agreed to split the mortgage payment and other expenses equally. However, when I shared this arrangement with my friends and family, they expressed disapproval. They believe that since the apartment isn't mine, I shouldn't be contributing to the mortgage or other housing expenses until we are married and I am on the deed. This feedback has left me reevaluating the situation. How much should I contribute financially if I move in?

Dear Maven, Congratulations on reaching this milestone with your relationship amid such challenging times! While it's great to have loved ones looking out for you, it's unrealistic to expect to live rent-free until a formal commitment is made. It is fair for you to contribute to the monthly household expenses and split utilities like you would with any other roommate. However, it is not necessary for you to cover half of all costs related to your boyfriend's property.

A formal rental agreement will provide you with certain protections and ensure that you feel secure about the move. It's important to have open and honest conversations with your boyfriend about financial matters, as you have been doing so far. Establishing a written agreement will also protect both parties in the event that the relationship doesn't work out, ensuring that you have a plan in place should things take a different turn. Crafting clear terms of agreement is essential to maintaining transparency and avoiding conflicts in the future.

Consulting with a tax professional may also be beneficial in understanding the implications of your financial arrangement. Approaching financial discussions with a clear and honest mindset will only strengthen your relationship in the long run. Best of luck with the move!